GASP alert 11/22/2005

Greetings GASP activists and welcome to a very special Thanksgiving edition! In this edition of GASP we have blogs from some very ordinary, unsupernatural, peoples who absolutely hate Santana and what he stands for. wE HAve a new code for GASP members to learn when attending GASP rallies or when you recognize a GASP member in the SS ( Santana Sector). We also have a Santamber alert out there for tonight's American Music Awards But first a little quiz.

Is Carlos Santana...
a. A communist
b. A walking fashion statement
c. A shaman
d. An enterprising bastard who 'smoothed' his way into mainstream radio and who now is relentless in his pursuit to stain every new pop act with his 'supernatural' sound.

If you answered "a" you are wrong. Wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt at the Oscars is dumb. Wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt anywhere means you're just asking for a good ass kicking! If you answered "b" you are wrong. See above. If you answered "c", well you could be right because obviously Santana put some kind of spell on us, why else would he be so popular? But "D" is the rightest answer here. Now let us examine some blogs from real Santana haters:

Charlie Bravo at KillCastro has the whole sordid story of Santana and how he stuck up for his che tee shirt, despite the impact on his intelligence. Despite the dressing down he got from Cuban American greats on the music scene. He just sucked up harder to che. Making matters worse, he BADMOUTHED the Cuban-American community sin verguenza. Carlos Santana, you are vile. I will buy no more Santana records. Not ever.
FROM: http://www.killcastro.com/blog/2005/08/carlos-santana-rides-his-donkey-again.html ...

Bravo! I'm not a KISS fan, I don't own any of their albums, but they had a huge following for years and some great hits - what is Carlos' problem? Is he pissed because less talented musicians are popular and making money in the music biz? Carlos needs to worry more about his own music - I heard his new (boring) album a couple months ago, it sucked and he knew it... so he held back the release 3 months trying to make it into something listenable. Sorry Carlos, you failed...... rehashing the ingredients of your last two albums with special guests and not the Santana band. You really need make a SANTANA album - we haven't had one of those in quite a few years, we miss the real deal. FROM: http://guajirodreams.com/blogs/suenos.html

I DONT MISS THE REAL DEAL. THAT'S WHY I STARTED THIS PSEUDO NEWSLETTER, IN ORDER TO GIVE UNBRAINWASHED PEOPLES A CHANCE TO VENT THEIR FRUSTRATIONS AND BE HEARD!

STOP SANTANA PROPAGANDA NOW! Hey!

I just had a great idea. GASP members will now communicate in a new language when in public. Examine the following demonstrations and you will catch on:

Santana+propaganda= SANTANAGANDA + RAMADAMA

or... SANTANA+SANDANISTA= SANTANDANISTA
or... SANTANA CLAUS
or... ATLANTANA + GAMADANA

Instead of saying, "That's fantastic" say, "DAM DATA SANTANA FANATICA-- DAT'S SANTANICA."

having canned ham for the holidays? Nuh-uh. You'll be having... "SANCANA HAMAJAMA"

Ever thought of going to Montana with your girlfriend and taking some pictures with your panoramic camera? OK...

"HANDAMA MA BANDANA JAMA, GANNA MONTSANTANA-A-LAMA AND DAMA DAT SANTANAORAMA CAMA!"

OK. That pretty much wraps it up. BE WATCHING FOR A SANTANA SIGHTING ON TONIGHT'S AMA AWARDS. ORDER A SANTANA VOODOO DOLL NOW! JUST $45.95 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.

MAIL TO: DAM! DATSA DANDY SANTANA SCAMA!
1450 WOOSTER BLVD., UNIT 110 A STE 2
BEAVER CITY, PA. 15218-0014

ORDER NOW AND WE'LL SEND A COPY OF GASP NEWSLETTER TO A SOLDIER OF YOUR CHOICE IN IRAQ! WHAT AM I GETTING OUT ALL THIS? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING... EXCEPT THE $45.95.